The table is set with sparkling lights, and laughter fills the room, but inside, you feel a knot tighten in your stomach. Someone asks, “So, are you seeing anyone?” and you brace for the wave of frustration and sadness. December is a month of joy and celebration — but when your journey to motherhood isn’t going to plan, it can feel anything but festive.

End-of-year functions, family events, and too much alcohol can often lead to well-meaning but painful questions. “Are you dating?” “Your biological clock is ticking!” or the ever-helpful, “Why don’t you just have a baby on your own?” But what if that’s exactly what you’re trying to do, and it’s not working, or you’re stuck in one of those agonising periods of waiting?

It’s okay to feel all of this — but remember, you are strong, and you’re allowed to protect your peace. After struggling through three years of infertility with a partner, and then years of hearing my biological clock grow louder while I searched for a way forward, I learned these essential lessons to help get through the holiday season with some sanity.

Solo motherhood: a decision that turns heads, raises eyebrows, and (let’s face it) sometimes earns unsolicited opinions. But for those of us who’ve chosen this path, let me tell you—there’s a whole world of unexpected joys that no one talks about. Solo motherhood isn’t just a backup plan; it’s an empowered, badass move that redefines what family means. And spoiler alert: it’s amazing.

Here are the joys that make solo mums grin while their coupled counterparts secretly think, “Wait… I want that.”